I’m ending 2012 exhausted and a little beat up. The flu has had us down the past few days (and subsequently up at night). Coupled with our Crazy Christmas, I feel like I’m limping across the finish of this year. Not really where I’d like to be, but it is where I am. If there’s any lesson I can take away from 2012 it is to be present, to engage with where I am NOW. I project into and plan the future too much. It’s sets me up to feel exactly as I feel now: exhausted.
Resolutions, goals, intentions all those words get tossed around at the end of the year. Quite frankly my problem is that I get too wrapped up in resolving to do this or be that. I set up goals and map out detailed plans as to how I’ll get there. And usually what I set my mind to I accomplish. I go and go and go and go. Right now what I need is rest, quiet, solitude.
Tomorrow morning I’m going to go to the woods. My woods. The trails I ran when I was in college. For me going into those woods is like going into a quiet chapel and kneeling in an empty pew. All is quiet. God is there.