It’s true. I just don’t feel like running right now. It’s pretty uncomfortable. I’m not motivated by fear of losing fitness (I know the road back to where I was prior to becoming pregnant will be long and hard and I’m OK with that). I’m not motivated by a postpartum “goal race” (I’ve intentionally not picked any races). So I’m generally feeling unmotivated to do something that is pretty uncomfortable, just for the sake of doing it.
During this pregnancy I’ve really tried to listen to my body, more than I did during my second pregnancy. And right now my body is telling me running more than 20 minutes isn’t that much fun: my adductors cramp, my SI joint feels loose and wonky, Braxton hicks come on full force and I have to pee.
For the past 3 weeks or so my weekly runs haven’t totaled more than 10 miles and I haven’t strung together a three mile run in a while. [I will add that I did run three miles Yesterday and although they weren’t effortless they were a lot more comfortable than runs have been. I’ll chalk that up to the sunshine, ocean and cloudless blue sky.]
Don’t get me wrong…I still love running. In fact I had a dream on Friday night that I was running a marathon effortlessly (in quarter mile circles around what seemed to be a college campus…weird) and someone yelled to me “You’re gonna break three hours!” and I glanced at my watch and saw 6:10 pace. But then I woke up shortly after and waddled my way to the bathroom because I have to pee multiple times in the middle of the night and realized effortless running is still a LONG way off.
So I’m biking and still doing fitness DVD’s and occasionally running, mostly for sanity’s sake because sometimes I just have to “get out.”
Here’s the run down of where I’m at with five weeks left in this pregnancy:
Running: Hardly at all and not that fast. And I’m perfectly OK with that, unless I’m really needing the mental/emotional break and endorphin boost.
Cross Training: Twice a week. Not very intense. A mix of Kettlebell and bodyweight workouts along with the Hab-It DVD.
Energy: My energy levels haven’t been too bad considering how much I move running after my five and two year old. I’m tired, but not overly tired.
Emotions: I’ve been a wreck. My emotions are totally out of control it seems and I’ve been feeling incredibly anxious about the big changes ahead: What will it be like? Will I remember what to do? What if Jack gets into the knives while I’m trying to feed the baby (because there is nothing that 2 year old MacGyver can’t get into)? Will I still have time for me? How are we going to deal with the sleep deprivation? How will I run errands with the baby, my 5 year old AND Mr. Independent (aka MacGyver) who doesn’t want to hold hands in the parking lot and has a tendency to bolt? How will I run? The list goes on…and on…and on, especially when I let myself get really worked up about it. And then I’m crying because I picture THE WORST. And I’m not good at handling THE WORST. At least not in this emotional state. I’m a firm believer in seeking help when you’re in over your head, so I have a counselor lined up who specializes in postpartum depression. I’m anticipating this postpartum to be a lot more difficult than the previous ones and I think I’m going to need some help.
Cravings: Sugar mostly. Which is why I’ve joined Laura’s Sugar Detox which I start today. My goal is to intentionally shift the way I’m satisfying my cravings, to choose healthier, more nutritious options. I haven’t had a huge appetite (chalk that one up to the anxiety), so what I am eating needs to count for me and for the baby. I’ll be sharing my meals and snacks on Twitter, so if you want to follow along on my 7 day detox be sure to follow @runfargirl on Twitter!
Baby: He is super active, especially at night and frequently stretches poking his feet out to the side. I’m looking forward to seeing those baby stretches once he’s on the outside!
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