At this point in January it is safe to assume that in regards to New Year’s resolutions or goals, people fall into one of four categories:
a) you never made a resolution and don’t believe in them
b) your resolve for your new goal held strong for a week or two but you have since fallen off the wagon so hard you’ve given up
c) you made your resolution and are sticking to it like glue and have no intention of ever looking back
d) you’re like me you’ve been about 80% faithful to the goals and resolutions you set for yourself, but aren’t completely happy with yourself because you don’t fall into category c.
Regardless of what you call it (a resolution or a goal or an intention) most of us take time to reflect on the past year and have a few changes we want to make in the year to come. Even with great resolve and the best intentions, falling short of 100% adherence to our goals/intentions/resolutions is a norm.
What makes the difference in making lasting change is how you respond.
One of the things that finally freed me from the grip of a serious eating disorder was the way I handled failure. Every January for nine years I fell into category b: I’d resolve not to binge and not to purge and my resolve would hold out for a week or two and then I’d cave. The addiction and compulsion would take over and I’d be back where I was on December 31st: a royal mess. The failure overwhelmed me and I’d throw in the towel for the rest of the year, because in my mind I’d ruined all my chances of being free from an eating disorder.
Learning to deal with setbacks and failure in my recovery was pivotal to ultimately finding freedom (that along with professional counseling, a very supportive husband and an unrelenting resolve to get better). I had to learn to see it each decision to change as a stepping stone, a chance to learn, an opportunity to grow. And I had to see falling short of change as part of the process, not failure.
The same goes for our New Year’s resolutions and big goals. Sometimes we can give 100% and we feel totally committed and locked-in to our goal. But other times we can only give 80% or maybe 50%; life gets in the way and our goals take a back seat as other priorities shift into focus. Maybe we loose motivation or our big dreams feel too far away to keep trying? Maybe we try and a door we thought would open, slams in our face? Or we try with everything we have and still come up short.
Whatever it is that causes us to fall short, it is our response to failure and setbacks that ultimately determines our success.
Often times success feels like an all or nothing scenario, but that is the furthest thing from the truth.
Fulfilling your resolutions and reaching your goals is more about maintaining focus despite the ebb and flow of life.
Look at setbacks and failure as part of the process, not the endgame.
So if you feel like you’ve fallen off the resolution wagon, or your resolve to make those dreams a reality has waned don’t give up! Take a good look at your efforts, ask some questions, figure out what needs to change and graciously pick yourself back up, find a friend who will cheer you on though the setbacks and keep going.
Cheering you on!
What resolutions or goals did you set for 2018? Do you feel like you’re still on track? Or have you had to deal with setbacks? What keeps you going?
–Sarah
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Oh yes, I could not agree more. Good timing. This is that setback time, and the time we need to remind ourselves that everyone has them. Which is why your post is so perfetc. I did not set any NY resolutions other than to not have one, and just enjoy this journey to London marathon, BUT I have been sticking with my one sweet per day, and I am proud of myself for that.
Thanks for sharing, have a wonderful day!
Good for you! I love your approach to London. I think it will be a huge game changer for you:)
so true. Set backs happen, but the way we look at them can help us move forward to stay stuck. We must chose to keep that first focus, without fear of failure
Yes! We can get so stuck and discouraged when we let setbacks get us down.
Love this – I too have to remind myself that I should not expect perfection but as long as I’m going forward in progress I’ve met the bigger goal!
Yes! Perfection isn’t necessary…just progress.
Sadly I went into the new year injured, do my number one goal was take rehab seriously. This weekend I was able to do a long run pain free!!
Woot! Wat to go! Glad you are on the mend:)
This is such great advice, and your personal take on it brings it much more meaning. I was just feeling bummed out yesterday about a running setback (some lower calf pain) that is hopefully very minor. I woke up feeling better about it today, but seeing your post reminded me that it’s more about the “ebbs and flows” than each setback or concern as a separate event. Thank you for sharing!
Gld that you could relate to the post:) taking care of injuries is so important! Keep the big pocture in mind.
Really, this is why I don’t make resolutions. I do set goals, and I’m on track still with those. It’s early, tho…
I think resolutions and goals though labled differently are really so simlilar; they come drom very similar intentions and its easy to get just as sidetracked with a goal as you might with a resolution. Keep at it though!
It’s oh-so-hard to learn from our failures but you are absolutely right! I didn’t really make any resolutions this year because I was dealing with the death of my friend and it all seemed so trivial. However, I have made some pretty significant changes in how I deal with problems. Losing a friend to cancer at 40 will give you a smack of perspective!
Allie, im so sorrt for your loss. Something like that really outs things in perspective. I can totally understand how something that significant would have a deeper impact, than just wanting 2015 to be better than last year.
I make sure that all my actions align with my vision and my values. If I miss a goal for whatever reason, it’s not a big deal because I am still making progress toward my vision in other ways. And there is no such thing as failure…only opportunity 🙂
Agreed! Love how you put this.
Such a great post Sarah and so timely. I was just thinking about whether or not I was living truly with my intention for the year – probably not as much as I could be. But it’s never as easy as point a to b and setbacks are a natural part of it. I do think that they offer such a great opportunity to learn too.
So true, i feel like i learn and grow more from setbacks than success.
So far, so good on my goals for the year. I’m taking it day by day, week by week. Right now I’m motivated to keep after my goals. It’s somewhere in the middle of the year that I tend to falter.
Woot! It soynds kike you made really realistic goals, sometimes in the excitement of the new year we overshoot our ability to gollow through and commit to more than we can handle. Which is what so many of us falter.
Great message! I didn’t make any resolutions because I knew i wouldn’t keep them! Ha… that’s not good either though!
Emma
I didn’t make resolutions. I set some goals. I haven’t given up on them but have definitely suffered some setbacks already because I was sick for so long over the holidays, like 6 weeks. I had a huge goal of cutting 30 min off my marathon time in Paris to hit the 4 hr mark, but I just don’t think it’s possible anymore, I lost so much of my fitness. Definitely frustrating but life happens and there is nothing you can do but press on and adjust those goals!
So sorry to hear that you were sick:/ keep your head up!
Failure is absolutely part of the process and I love the way you discuss it here. This is obviously perfect timing for anyone struggling to maintain their resolutions!